After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
