Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
