they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
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