guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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