I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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