he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
