I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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