What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
