highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
