That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
