I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
