I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
