You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
