After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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