She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
