So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
