Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
