I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
