his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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