**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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