covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
