Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
