Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
