My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
