Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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