the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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