Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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