He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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