He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
