i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
