and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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