redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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