no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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