i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
