I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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