how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
