Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize