Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
