Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
