Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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