At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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