nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
