I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
