In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm sobbing to NWA
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
