She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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