I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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