I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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