OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize