The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize