Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
