I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
