Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
