He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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