I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
