would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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