He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
