everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize