im having a threesome with these popsicles
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
