It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
