cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dignity is for republicans.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
